A quick intro...

I'm really new to this whole blogging thing but since my husband and I have decided to adopt, I have found a lot of great information about adoption on blogs. Therefore, I became inspired to create my or "our" own blog as a way to document our adoption journey. It will probably take a me a couple of weeks to get this up and running so bare with me and check back often.

We have been married a little over 2 years. I'm 32 and Billy is 37 years old. We tried for almost one year to get pregnant. Ok, I know what you are thinking...one year is probably not long enough to give it try. Well pardon me, but think again! I gained about 20 lbs when I went off my birth control bills, got depressed, went through weeks of insomnia to be followed by weeks of hyperactiviy and anxiousness. I was miserable and making the lives of those around me miserable.

I have known for probably 10 or more years that I one day, I would like to have the opportunity to adopt. So after one year of trying to conceive, I felt that I was being called in this direction. To be honest, adoption was never a second choice for me. When we decided that we would like to start a family, Billy and I had a hard deciding whether we would like to adopt first or try to have a biological child. Ideally, I always thought that we would have a biological child and adopt a child or vice versa. I just did not envision me going through two pregnancies although I would like to have two children. So, after one crappy year trying to conceive (oh, I forgot to mention that Dear Aunt Flo was visiting me every 2.5 weeks so not much of an opportunity to get pregger!), I decided that I couldn't live another day without my birth control pills! I guess we all have our weaknesses...some are addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling etc...but mine would be called a tiny little pill called Ortho-Tri-Cylen! Great stuff!

Forget the testing and fertility stuff! Not that I'm slamming it but I can say that it isn't for everyone as adopting is certainly not for everyone! After what all I had been through, there was no way I was going to subject myself to the torture. Besides, I really don't feel the need to experience pregnancy to be a mother nor do I feel the need to have a child that has my and Billy's characteristics. I had embraced the idea of getting pregnant and having a baby during our year of trying to conceive, but to be quite honest, I have never imagined myself as pregnant nor have I ever really desired having a newborn. Don't get me wrong, I was very disappointed month after month to not be pregnant but I did not "grieve" it as many woman do that has problems with infertility. I guess things just work out in their own unique way and not getting pregnant was just confirmation that it was never meant for me.